Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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