what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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