OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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