hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
