The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I checked into jail on foursquare
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
