Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
