Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
