I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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