his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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