tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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