I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
