I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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