he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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