Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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