Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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