R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
