He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She's the barista slut.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
