Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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