evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
