So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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