just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
