Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
