I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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