Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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