Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
