my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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