Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
jump out the window naked night went bad
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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