Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
