Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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