break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
