Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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