Whoa Z and x make the same sound
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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