We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize