I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
