This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I supernannyed him into submission
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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