I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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