Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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