FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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