Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
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