Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
