whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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