I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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