Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
