I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
