I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
You were trust falling into bushes
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
