His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
