im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
