Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
