My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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