i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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