i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
