stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just pee around me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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