How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
