I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
