scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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