I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Fuck appropriateness.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
