We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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